A Little Recess

“I am  gullible but i know the difference between being friendly to flirting.”

It all started when you said you like me and treat me in a way that was more than a friend should do. 

You updated me  with every event of your day you surely wont do to ‘just’ a friend. 

Every day you greeted me with that boyish smile.

You were too aware of my existence, you knew every movement, every expression on my face. 

You didn’t mind getting late and still wait for me under the morning sky, surrounded with noise and smoke from the traffic.

You came to know my mood and emotion. You were there to comfort me, how much I said I was fine you knew I wasn’t. 

You skipped work before just to spend more time with me. 

You called me your baby. It sounded so cliche and corny but, truth to be told, it gave me butterflies and an impish quirk at the corners of my mouth.

You gave me time and effort that nobody had given me.

You’ve become my escape from the darkness of my past. You pulled me out from where I was imprisoned and made me trust once more.

You’ve become my peace and you said so I was to you.

Then…one day you opened up about your past as I listened to your story.

It was a short narration introducing ‘her’ in my mind. 

She was seemed to be your everything. It wasn’t a surprised as she was probably the first real one.

I wouldn’t lie, it alarmed me in some extent but I kept it hidden, considering it was unnecessary to have.

I buried the thought in the recesses of my mind, and simply relish with the joy I had that I didn’t possess prior. 

I was on the edge, full of uncertainty and fear before you came into my life. But you’ve become the light that outshadowed every dark.

I was hesitant at first but there was this burst of will that told me to start anew and give it a try.

And it was happiness that ensued.

The shimmer in your eyes, how your lips curved into a bright smile, it was so real. I thought it was genuine…I thought it was true. 

But.

But I was afraid it was not.

Then things went downhill, it was so fast I was left unprepared. 

Suddenly you realized that was not what you wanted. Suddenly you realized you were craving and longing for something from your past. Suddenly you realized it’s still her you love.

Suddenly…

You realized I was not her and will never be her.

And then you just stopped…And then you just completely forgot whatever we had. And after that it was always her and her alone, like I was never been in the picture once.

Denying anything we had to anyone who asked. I was brutally removed from your memory.

Replaced and recognized as ‘just a friend’. 

It was like you had  been hauled from the spell, as if all the magic had ran out.  And just then and there, you looked with those blankness in your eyes and left me there like it was something normal

Like…“Hey, I’m done with you, thanks.” 

In the blink of an eye, your enthusiasm faded, your eyes dulled, your expression hardened with indfferent. Your feelings died.

A sudden pause of confusion…

And then I realized…you were just a temporary break from a storm.  

AN: Hi, just a little thing to update this blog. My muse is pestering me to write something, so here it is. I’ve been away from writing for so long, so I’m so sorry if you find this rough.

Be

Be the reason of someone’s smile.

Be the reason of someone’s sunshine and light.

Be the reason of someone’s purpose to survive.

Be the reason to prevent someone run dry.

Be the reason for someone reach up the sky.

Be the ‘I’ll stay’ in the masses of ‘goodbyes’

Be the reason of someone’s hope in life.

Be the reason, because a little deed is worth a try.

You Know

You know, you should know that not all the time people will baby you. Not all the time people need to understand you or accept your excuses. You know, you should not let yourself get used with only taking, try to give next time. Give effort on understanding others.

You keep on complaining no one understands you, but ask yourself, did you stop for a while and understand them for once? You think to yourself no one cares, but did you care? Have you contemplated for once that perhaps they have to do something now that they cant tend to your needs, that it’s not only you they have to give their time  with. There you are judging their action, putting in your mind they are selfish and bad for leaving you behind. But ask yourself, who is really selfish?  Have you ever argue with yourself, and reason out that perhaps, there is a sound reason for them leaving, and not drive to conclusion that they did it to make you feel bad.

The world doesn’t revolve only for one person. The world doesn’t just use their time pleasing a single human.
Look around you, you honestly receive more than what you expect. It is simply a matter of appreciation. Appreciate every little things someone do for you, because, even if it’s just a mere moment, at least he or she remembers you.

They could have done different things but no, they chose you.

Who to Blame?

They are protecting their people. Both of them, goodness. Both did something wrong, both experienced that mistake.
Everyone is a victim everyone is the reason why there’s a victim to begin with.
People said it’s the others’ fault for starting, but look, it won’t really worsen if they didn’t do the same.
Anything that happens to oneself is that oneself’s responsibility no one else but him who put him to that situation. If we are to point a finger whose fault it really is, it is us, everyone of us, who did it. We are given free will to decide and to choose the path we want to take. Why do we have to blame someone or a group of people of the things happening to our surrounding, isn’t it supposed to be us blaming ourselves for it is because that’s what we (unconsciously or not) chose to have.

One Way

Why do we have to fight over religion, and why do we have to argue what religion will be saved. It’s not really about religion. Religion isn’t the way, or the truth or the life. There’s only one way and we all know it’s JESUS CHRIST our Savior.

Religion isn’t  really the most important thing, but how strong our FAITH is.

 

Random: Grow

It’s not my obligation, it’s in the hand of every living creature what they want to do in their lives. I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist, I just want to share this one:

• How will they able to grow if there are who always support them and ready to catch them if they fall. They won’t know pain and failure. They will remain oblivious of the things that they should know to be able to get mature. They need to seek help on themselves. They need to experience the bruise of life hence they learn that falling doesn’t mean it’s the end, that they will say,

‘Yes I fell, but look I’m still breathing, and I’m going to use this golden opportunity to stand and continue once more, this time I’m not going to be afraid, because pain is just a matter of enduring, I know something’s out there for me. That falling is just to make me stronger. Scars are not the ugly reminder of the past but it is a symbol, a sign that in my life I faced hardship nonetheless here I am, alive, survived the darkness of my life.’